The Herod Within: A Struggle Between Control and Faith
But Herod said, “John I beheaded. Who then is this about whom I hear such things?” And he kept trying to see him. ~ Lk 9:7
It’s said that Emperor Augustus joked about Herod Antipas saying “It’s better to be Herod’s pig than his son.” (Macrobius, Saturnalia, 2:4:11)
Herod was known for killing his sons out of fear of losing power; and since he was half-Jewish, he wouldn’t eat pork 🙂
Jokes aside, this passage reminded me of the scene from The Passion of The Christ, were Jesus meets Herod. Herod wanted to see what Jesus was all about. On one side, he wanted to assess whether Jesus was a threat to his “throne” or not. On the other side, he was excited by all the stories he had heard about Jesus so he wanted to see the tricks in person.
When Jesus didn’t comply with Herod’s requests, the disappointed and displeased Herod sent Jesus back to Pilate. The rest is history.
Between you and me, I let you in a secret…there’s a little bit of Herod in me.
Here’s one way I see myself in Herod’s behavior.
About 12 years ago, I was going through a period of desolation. Work was toxic, life at home was stressful, and friendships weren’t helpful. I felt like I was losing it all. I worried that I was going to be a disappointment to my parents and wife. I felt like a failure of my profession.
I tried everything to protect what I had. I jumped from self-improvement seminar to seminar but nothing addressed the emotional turmoil.
Interestingly, I never thought of leaving everything to God. Church was the thing I went to on Sundays; and prayer, a rare occurrence.
“If it was to be, it was up to me.”
It should be no surprise that those times were some of the loneliest of my life because I didn’t think I was worthy of help from anyone.
How stressful do you think it is to try to control it all and prepare for all the potential challenges and threats?
That’s pretty much Herod’s approach to his governance. He was always looking out for anyone who showed signs of trying to take away his “kingdom.” He was so obsessed about it that he ended up accusing his preferred son of treason and killing him.
How often have you caught yourself pushing God out of the picture so that you can exercise absolute dominion over your life?
Another way in which my Herod shows up is when I want to treat God like entertainment.
I have shared this idea before but it’s so prevalent that reminders are valid.
This is the attitude of treating everything related to God’s kingdom as another way to make life pleasurable.
- It’s the praying only when we need a favor from heaven
- It’s only talking to God when some negative thing has happened
- It’s jumping from church to church trying to find the pastor with the best sermons, the great music, or that makes us feel cozy
- It’s looking for God only when it’s convenient or we need an escape from everything else.
I have done it. I engaged in religious practices with a transactional attitude and demanded that things go according to my will not His.
This is what Herod did with Jesus. He liked the company of John The Baptist but since he had to get rid of him to save face, he was going around trying to find a new toy (Jesus). But, Jesus didn’t want anything to do with it.
In a similar fashion, can we honestly say Jesus, Mother Mary, God, the Angels, or any saint in heaven pays attention to what we have to say when we only go to them only when it’s convenient for us?
For those of us, with two thousand years of theology in our pocket, it’s easy to say “ah…I’m not like that!” But, the more I study and ponder on the Bible passages, the more I see myself in all the villains.
I will continue to pray to my guardian angel to humble me so that I never go back to believing I can do life by myself.
In peace,
~Juan