The Power of Surrender: Letting Go of the Need to Control Your Story
“Blessed be You, our Lord, King of the Universe, I faithfully and humbly place myself in your presence to give you thanks for all that was, all that is, and all that is to come in my life. I, sincerely, surrender my will and my need to understand, so that the Holy Spirit can freely guide me to fulfill the mission you have for me on this Earth. In you, I wholeheartedly place my trust until the end of my earthly days. Amen.”
I was amused when I read something profound and was surprised to find that I had written it.
That’s the prayer I ended up my reflection on Luke’s Gospel a year ago. I don’t remember writing it, nor do I recall using those words in any of my prayers. Yet, my notes say I wrote them.
I reread the prayer today as I pondered on Luke 9:1-2, Jesus summoned the Twelve and gave them power and authority over all demons and to cure diseases, and he sent them to proclaim the Kingdom of God and to heal the sick.
I am a bit disappointed and sad to admit that I haven’t followed through with “surrender my will and my need to understand.” I continue to pray and try to do it but progress has been extremely slow.
I suspect the reason is my attachment to be an equal participant in the creation of my story. That means, that while God is in control, I believe I must exert my power to get it done as opposed to being a vessel for God’s power in my life.
What I appreciate about the apostles is that regardless of their fear and doubts, they obeyed Jesus and believed him. He gave them power and authority and sent them out. They did as he commanded.
My lack of progress isn’t due to a lack of action but rather my unwillingness to let Jesus take over everything. As in…
- Teach me how to pray
- Teach me to listen to you
- Tell me what to do, where to go, who to talk to
- Grant me the humility to surrender to you
- Give me the words to say
- Etc.
I find it incredibly challenging to interact with God in this way because I feel useless, almost like a spoiled child. All because I am still holding on to the idea that I must “earn my keep.”“
Today, I am reminded that it is not a marathon or a sprint but a lifelong adventure.
In peace,
~Juan
