Finding Purpose in Pain: Embracing Redemptive Suffering
He said, “The Son of Man must suffer greatly and be rejected by the elders, the chief priests, and the scribes, and be killed and on the third day be raised.” ~ Lk 9:22
I had an interesting experience with suffering a couple weeks ago. While loneliness has frequently visited me since high school, this instance felt different. For about four days I felt fully alone and disconnected. I was noticing rejection and felt like I was bothering others in most interactions. Everything I tried to accomplish was progressing slowly. It all felt out of place. A clear period of desolation more than a habitual emotional low. Prayer, rosaries, mass, communion, and confession had little effect on things.
The insight came from observing my response to the situation. Rather than handle it like I regularly do with depressive thoughts or tantrums, I offered it to God to be used as grace for others who need it most. I used these feelings to connect with Christ’s walk to Calvary, hoping for spiritual growth.
While I’m still processing the experience, it influences how I read today’s Gospel.
I find it is very common to forget that Christ’s life set the example for his disciples. If the Son of Man was persecuted and judged like the filthiest criminal of his time, what makes us think we won’t experience suffering?
I can’t claim to have mastered the gift of redemptive suffering or that I’m going to gracefully handle every painful experience going forward. What I can say is that taking the opportunity to use my pain as a way to relate to his passion lightened the burden of the experience.
In a way, I chose to fully embrace the suffering and trusted God would do something good with it.
Maybe today, we are being asked to bring forth a painful thing in our lives, and ask God to use it for the benefit of His Kingdom.
In peace,
~Juan
